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All Fictional & Real Life (Short) Stories are © by our Author.
Note: All characters in the stories are fictional. Similarity with existing persons is based on coincidence, or not...


My Musings About 2021

So at the end of 2021, the 2nd (and for sure not last) year of the Covid-19 pandemic, I think many, when not most, people muse about what has happened this year. Musings…

2021 The Year I decided I AM Good Enough.
2021 The Year I decided to get OVER my Traumatic Past and handle it differently.
2021 The Year I decided to STOP running away and stay where I am (geographically).
2021 The Year I decided to stop hunting a narcissistic person that doesn’t value me. Although he promised over and over again he did.
2021 The Year I decided words are worthless when they contradict actions.
2021 The Year I decided to follow my path of Holism & WitchCraft.
2021 The Year I decided to stay stuck even more with my Norms & Values.
2021 The Year I started a “I AM” affirmations diary.
2021 The Year I decided to Live my Life the way I want!
2021 The Year I bought & followed many courses to go forwards.
2021 The Year I decided to find a new job.
2021 The Year I decided to TAKE CONTROL over my own Happiness.
2021 The Year I learned I am allowed to be Happy and have Fun.
2021 The Year I decided Happiness is a Choice.
2021 The Year I did all of the above and more.

2022 The Year I am proud of what I accomplised in 2021 and I will follow through!

2022 Proud to be ME!

Author Scribbles & Novellas

This was THE YEAR that I decided the trauma from my youth, growing up with a narcissistic mother, would not get the best of me anymore. I finished the Life Coaching sessions I started in 2020 and am able, most of the time, to think about the horror and let go… Musings…

Musings About My Life

And yet, the biggest mistake I made in 2021 was just a few minutes after the start of the New Year. I now know it was the biggest from 2021. Contacting my ex, a narcissist like my mother. Causing me enormous pain over the next 7 months to come. And I did it to myself…

Luckily, after many months, I finally recognized his behaviour as evil, terrible, narcissistic and very bad for me. So around the end of May, I decided the relationship should be over. Of course, I had a few throwbacks, but I finally managed to “get rid” of him. Get him out of my mind and DNA.

Deep in my heart I knew he was lying. That he was making excuses that weren’t the truth.
But I didn’t want to know…

Author Scribbles & Novellas
Image from Pinterest

I did, and sometimes I do it again, very heavy Cutting The Cords Rituals. Cleansing Rituals. Not only to cut the cords with this lousy ex of mine. But also to cut family bonds that are not of any value anymore.

To Keep them Out of my Life. F O R E V E R !!!

Musings About My Job

Although I didn’t hate my job in 2021, I hated how the company treated people (this is not about the job I started iN December 2021, but the previous one). How my (new) colleagues were treated. They were left alone to drown. Were not helped as “helping people makes them lazy”. This is not something I want to be part of. Goes SO against my nature.

Yet, due to my job (as previously in my other jobs) I met some people who were happy to meet me. People I was happy to meet too! That feels so good!

I bet this applies to everyone. But for someone who always has heard that she isn’t good enough, that she has an awful personality etc., this is Gold. The cherry on the pie!

So I want to thank Ruud (my dear friend I know for years now), Eli whom I was introduced to working for the company that wanted me to let drown people. People like Nathan & Maarten. Thank you so much for appreciating me. For telling me that I am appreciated.

And there were/came more people like this… 🙂

Musings About My Learning Path

I finished several (alternative) courses. About WitchCraft. And about Nature etc. I will never stop learning, doing courses. Develop myself. I love to learn. In my past, this was a way to step out of the enormous horrible times I was going through. And as I am musing, I acknowledge it became my way of living.

A way of surviving. And I love it! I love to gain knowledge. I love to educate myself. To get educated in every way I can. Though mainly not the plain educations. I rather look outside the boxes.

What I also did, as I always do is develop myself in the area of my job. Even when there are no colleagues willing to help, often there are other ways to get better. Get more knowledge. Even when it is only by trial and error. There are ways.

Image from Pinterest

Musing About Bad & Good

So, didn’t I have difficulties this year? Oh yes, I had many. I still hurt when I think about my ex. My stupidity. But I know what he lost. And that is something he’ll never find again! Arrogant? Maybe, but I finally learned to know my worth.

The job I had until the end of November 2021 was badly paid and the circumstances, the company, weren’t good. No humanity. Nothing at all. No interest in their employers. No, they were (are) “meat” that has to do “more, more, more”. Work “harder, harder, harder”. And for what? No for respect. Nothing at all.

And it is the worst paid job in this city, probably country, for the language they give support. That would not be the worst when the management would have been human and respectful. But they are not. Luckily I met a few wonderful people there.

I learned that I am able to help people and many causes I stand for. You don’t need to be wealthy or rich to help people or organizations you stand for. A few pennies will do. Whatever you can spare!
Some organizations I support are the BDS Movement, SumOfUs,

Musings About The Possibilities

Just after July, I got a possibility for a new job. First I didn’t want to leave my colleagues. Even though the company was not good for me. Yet, I gave my first notice at the end of August 2021. And I am very ashamed to say that I was bribed.

Bribed into staying. They offered me the possibility to become a Coach for the department I was working for. Although I am a Coach, have my education, this was a real job possibility. After just a few days I found that this also meant that I had to let drown people. Colleagues who were in need of help.

No way! There is NO WAY that I will let drown people. I know how it feels, start a new job and there is no help at all. No one answering your questions. People need help, answers.

So I decided there and then that this was the end of my almost year of employment with this company and I applied directly for another job.

Musings About Going Forward

The Future I decided on is in MY HANDS. The start I made in 2021 wasn’t that good by contacting the narcissist again. But I followed the promise I made to myself. Try to BE Happy & Stay Happy.

I found and accepted a new job where I started at the beginning of December 2021. During the training, I got the possibility to choose for becoming a member of a new department. Chat moderation. And although I know I am able, have the Knowledge, Experience and Character, to do so much more, I decided that I needed happiness in my life.

Therefore, I applied for the vacancy and got it! And the last week of December 2021 I had a blast at my work!

Musing About Heading to The Future

What Makes me Happy

There are SO MANY things that make me happy. And mainly these are small things. The first snowdrop in early spring. A butterfly flying by. One, or more, of the strays cats I am feeding, survive the harsh winter. The European Jay “stealing” food I left for the cats.

The beautiful Woodpecker I heard and viewed in the tree next to the parking of my apartment. My wonderful colleagues were telling me that I am a great person and they are happy we’ve met. That they learned so much from me…

Musings About What I Am Grateful For

I am grateful for my strength. Even though I wasn’t loved properly in my youth, I am able to love deeply.
Even though I was bullied over and over again I am able to help the bullied. To support people who need it.

Organizations that I think are worth my support.
The BDS Movement
The SumOfUs
And several others I support when they have a Cause I fully stand behind.

Musings, More Things to Be Grateful For

My previous employers. The employers taught me how I do not want to be treated. Disrespectfully. Losing all human aspects. And therefore I hope I will not treat other people this way, ever.

Although it’ll cost me several times swallowing very hard… I am grateful for the youth I had. I found how I DO NOT want to be. Cold, not understanding, not being empathetic etc.

That fact that I found that I eventually CAN Acknowledge and WILL NOT discard my Norms & Values. I can not be bribed. Although there was a moment I thought, to my disgrace, it was possible.

And then the fact that I am still breathing and healthy despite all the horrible things I encountered in my life.

I am grateful that the Universe allows me to enjoy the small things. That I have a roof above my head. Food on my table. That I am able to overcome all hard times although it is not always easy.

THANK YOU UNIVERSE!!!

My wishes for 2022… That I am and will be able to keep up the good path I finally found for myself.

Featured Image by Karolina Grabowska from Pixabay



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All Fictional & Real Life (Short) Stories are © by our Author.
Note: All characters in the stories are fictional. Similarity with existing persons is based on coincidence, or not...

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About Author

Since my youth I am writing short and longer stories. My imagination never stops running out of fuel :)

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